on being loved
How do I know the boyfriend loves me?
It's not out of convenience. I'm not some "around the way" girl who lives in his neighborhood. I live across town and when he visits me, he has to drive at least 30 minutes. And most times, it's because I need something from the hardware store or the dry cleaner. "Boyfriend, pick me up a wrench on your way over!" So, not only am I inconveniently located, I'm demanding. Curious.
He's obviously not superficial because I am not a sight to behold although, I will update you now that I have officially kept off 5 pounds. I am aiming for more even though my fans keep screaming "No, you'll be too thin!" "Your boobs will disappear!" "You're not THAT fat, you're just a little bit fat!" I only weigh myself after I have completely disrobed and expelled every last drop of urine from this sack I call my body. He's definitely not a "looks" man.
Although he's hardly a gourmand, he won't eat just anything. Spinach? Mushrooms? Steamed veggies in a plastic bag? All items I cook that he will not eat. Thus, my culinary skills are not keeping him around. I do love to bake though, but no, he has not a large sweet tooth.
He couldn't be into me because I'm Asian. There may be passersby who disagree, those AznPride zealots who detest the sight of their Asian sisters in the culture-leeching claws of White ghost establishment. The boyfriend is neither established nor ghoulish. I know he's not a weird Orientalphile because:
a) he often confuses my ethnicity (Chinese) with something else (like Peruvian)
b) he doesn't try to impress me by dropping random phrases in my native language like "How are you" or "How much for the girl and two condoms"
c) he walks away when I take out my leftovers i.e. the Tupperware with assorted animal odds and ends
d) when I tell him about the traditions my family keeps for things like Lunar New Year or the Harvest festival, he glazes over or just keeps watching SportsCenter
I sometimes point out "those types" of Asian fetish men to him when we are walking to the supermarket or riding in an elevator. The ones who inevitably begin conversations with "Nee hao ("Hello" in Chinese), are you from Shanghai because you look like Northern Chinese as opposed to Southern Chinese?" The boyfriend doesn't see it.
"He looks normal to me."
"But look at the woman he's with!" I exclaim, "She has nothing going for her except her limp black hair and her slanty eyes! I betcha he'd have her pull him around in a rickshaw if he could ship one over here!" Maybe he's with me because I'm racist.
And now that we've come to the awkward doorway into the analysis of my "man-pleasing" skills, let's just laugh a nervous laugh and say no.
So, what is it? What is it that keeps him around? What keeps him near me? It's not my stink or my smile. They say that what often attracts people is the unknown delights of a new love conquest. It's the secrets we keep and reveal only slowly, over time, which hold a person's attention. We avoid the predictable and the obvious. I am both. Maybe what keeps him around is the fact that I just can't figure him out and simply refuse to leave him alone.
It's not out of convenience. I'm not some "around the way" girl who lives in his neighborhood. I live across town and when he visits me, he has to drive at least 30 minutes. And most times, it's because I need something from the hardware store or the dry cleaner. "Boyfriend, pick me up a wrench on your way over!" So, not only am I inconveniently located, I'm demanding. Curious.
He's obviously not superficial because I am not a sight to behold although, I will update you now that I have officially kept off 5 pounds. I am aiming for more even though my fans keep screaming "No, you'll be too thin!" "Your boobs will disappear!" "You're not THAT fat, you're just a little bit fat!" I only weigh myself after I have completely disrobed and expelled every last drop of urine from this sack I call my body. He's definitely not a "looks" man.
Although he's hardly a gourmand, he won't eat just anything. Spinach? Mushrooms? Steamed veggies in a plastic bag? All items I cook that he will not eat. Thus, my culinary skills are not keeping him around. I do love to bake though, but no, he has not a large sweet tooth.
He couldn't be into me because I'm Asian. There may be passersby who disagree, those AznPride zealots who detest the sight of their Asian sisters in the culture-leeching claws of White ghost establishment. The boyfriend is neither established nor ghoulish. I know he's not a weird Orientalphile because:
a) he often confuses my ethnicity (Chinese) with something else (like Peruvian)
b) he doesn't try to impress me by dropping random phrases in my native language like "How are you" or "How much for the girl and two condoms"
c) he walks away when I take out my leftovers i.e. the Tupperware with assorted animal odds and ends
d) when I tell him about the traditions my family keeps for things like Lunar New Year or the Harvest festival, he glazes over or just keeps watching SportsCenter
I sometimes point out "those types" of Asian fetish men to him when we are walking to the supermarket or riding in an elevator. The ones who inevitably begin conversations with "Nee hao ("Hello" in Chinese), are you from Shanghai because you look like Northern Chinese as opposed to Southern Chinese?" The boyfriend doesn't see it.
"He looks normal to me."
"But look at the woman he's with!" I exclaim, "She has nothing going for her except her limp black hair and her slanty eyes! I betcha he'd have her pull him around in a rickshaw if he could ship one over here!" Maybe he's with me because I'm racist.
And now that we've come to the awkward doorway into the analysis of my "man-pleasing" skills, let's just laugh a nervous laugh and say no.
So, what is it? What is it that keeps him around? What keeps him near me? It's not my stink or my smile. They say that what often attracts people is the unknown delights of a new love conquest. It's the secrets we keep and reveal only slowly, over time, which hold a person's attention. We avoid the predictable and the obvious. I am both. Maybe what keeps him around is the fact that I just can't figure him out and simply refuse to leave him alone.
posted by Katie at 2:50 PM
2 Comments:
Maybe it's because you just saved a bunch of money by switching to Geico.
Holy shit, that's hilarious. I love you, An! You meking me naffing.
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